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Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
3:05 pm
thumbing their noses from their fortress,
the thought arrived that if tables turn
the walls will not be enough
and their soft, fat, greedy hands will be no defense

they dream of pitchforks stabbing stomachs
and fists, dead, dropping money from some height
showering down in spiral shapes toward
the fast approaching bottom

count all the fast ways to build up piles of cash
piles so tall they don't bother
printing them out
instead they are digital and imagined
nothing added, nothing subtracted,
pixels steering the boat at this point
and all of us looking on, helpless, confused
little sheep-children
led by fucked shepherds

everything is a crisis
everything is decaying
you can sit in your room
and look out your window
and wonder what sort of space it would take
to really fill your head
so that it could be still,
no thoughts rattling like change in an empty tin.

there are events that are happening in the periphery
which have dire consequences
the light is off so you can't watch
our captain is not speaking
we are 36,000 feet
thumbing our noses from our fortresses
as the foundations sink into the mud

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Friday, October 23rd, 2009
9:39 pm - techshop talk.
for the last several weeks my schedule at the "dog palace" has been something like this

off Monday
Groom from 8 until 130 Tuesday
Groom from 8 until 2 Wednesday
off Thursday
work kennel from 12 until 8-ish Friday
work kennel from 7am until 2-ish Saturday
work kennel from 12 until 8-ish Sunday

an.way. that's preattyy intense dogwork there. the best part is the grooming since it's on commission and i get to tally up my money and usually end up making like $20/hr. if I'm witty. otherwise it's less. i bike to work no matter the weather. a guy who works there always asks if i need new pants when it rains. i get soaked, sunburned, whatever. i wish the commute were a little longer, to be honest.

the birds are squawking

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Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
7:47 pm - skatejoy
these ceramic bearings
let me put a twist
on the city

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Thursday, October 8th, 2009
10:42 am
Rooms don't travel
where I want to be.
I need your presence
to sleep by me.
Where's you want to see?
The kind of place that's a glimpse of purpose.
No black numbers to define our price.
Make something that we can relate to,
stop shrinking away
from responsibilities.
It will have to stack on a shelf,
not be sloshed around,
half-drank,
half-finished,
a swirling world of potentials,
possibility.

Soon I'll take an idea
and fold it around within,
Soon I'll fold this notion
and set it free.
Will it arrive full-form,
with spine and lungs?
It can breathe -
It can walk -
It goes on its own -
Miraculous!

Don't get freaky,
Don't go crazy,
It's in your pocket.
It's waiting in the glove box.
Project out
what's too real onto it.

Hold out times like good ones for the taking.
Soon I'll have an idea and then
Make it go wide screen

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Monday, September 28th, 2009
12:00 am
I plan on
leaving my
fingerprints
to stay
on a pane
of glass
unwashed

Preferably the glass
is stained
and I am but a
small imprint
on a larger
design

But perhaps there is a
time when I am the
center on the Cross
in the crosshairs
right in the middle

Drop my
fingers onto
a tiny thing
Leave my
strange mark
where ever
I can't seem,
where ever
I can only do

Perhaps it is easier
and I am outrunning
my own self

Perhaps it is whatever
and I keep waking up
still like this

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Saturday, September 26th, 2009
7:46 pm - Only thing that scares me is the dark
Everything is a crisis (to someone)

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Friday, September 25th, 2009
3:23 pm - Too long since



We have a flyer in our house. He casts arcs.







One day we will have a boat.












Please make things!









I put my hands to work here: a kennel -
this is a fine dog











Should I be fast
or should I be slow
It may be too soon to know
And so on it goes








A FRIENDLY REMINDER TO PAY THE BILLS








What do we mean to the animals













In the waning hours of summertime












Early morning hours with their hoods hung low
When the buildings look like diorama playsets





What is new and sits on our porch? Christine.









I didn't notice them for hours,
but I have awoke to flowers quick
and found it so pleasing.
The shadows followed me around golden hour







The sun might come out tomorrow
And light the bottoms of the tunnels

The lake is a wasteland
Too large to fathom







Wilson Beach lighting gray with fog and sand




Down the puzzling wooden trap please
Into that city early then






On the rails to the hospital
Her mother like a weight
She is fine she is fine
She will make it through, fine
I know, she told me so




Come and see me
I'll be around for a while







It was pleasing, an absolute pleasure,
I couldn't believe just how great it was once it was through
and looking back,
I'd do it again if I was given a chance to.
But these things must pass and I can carry them with me as I go on
not a weight but a balloon to lift me through
when I can't walk on

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Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
10:34 pm
These things must
come from nowhere
I have seen them before
They are arriving
Just on time

Once it is here
I am not sure it is
Too late

Groceries
Shoe laces
Alarm clocks
Normal things
You know
Nice things
Every single day

A place to place
Ordinary objects
A space to call
Ordinary space
Trying to describe
What it is to be a routine

Tacks hang objects safely
Slats support the house
The garbage is taken out
Safety, this sweet safety

I have worked so hard for it

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Monday, September 21st, 2009
12:28 pm
chaos
your warm image
spun out
in a red book
Carl Jung hid in Switzerland.
trying to explain
fractals.
it is totally random.
it may repeat.
it is totally random.
it may repeat.

fooled by a trick
turned on a suggestion
hung out
on paper, bound
for higher-ups with reputations.
delicate reputation
spindly
which sticks
and breaks
offering only tears.

it may repeat, it is totally random.
wherever the strings may fall
is how they fall.
one direction
glass-eyes
counting sand crystals
another direction
narrow fingers
grasping at grease
bony ribs

coming to the surface in funny ways
bubbling over
sipping slowly

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9:26 am - Well-worn fears
The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand;
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight; somewhere in the sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?




(always loved this.)

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Friday, September 18th, 2009
6:02 pm
green goggles
vaseline on the lens
superimposed
once-off

a twang
repeating long
such awful sentences
i'm ringing

rich and vibrant
what might've been
skin
beds

nude
nighttime
gently gliding down
feet touch earth
moonlight
on arched back

a pattern in the noise

the object furthest from earth

fragments and particles
sticking
making word math
all the hard work done for you

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Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
7:30 pm - ON THE RAILS
LYRICS. accompanied by music.

WE MIGHT NOT BE OUT OF THE WOODS YET
ALL IS NOT SO CLEAR AS IT SEEMS
SOMETHING MUST GIVE
SOMETHING MUST BREAK
THE BOMB HAS TO GO OFF BEFORE WE CAN EVEN STOP TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO DIFFUSE IT

WE COULD DROWN IN OUR WEAPONS
WE COULD DROWN IN OUR WEAPONS
WE COULD HIDE OUR WORST FEARS
BUT SOMETHING MUST GIVE
SOMETHING MUST BREAK
THE BOMB HAS TO GO OFF
BEFORE WE CAN EVEN START
TO THINK ABOUT
HOW TO DIFFUSE IT

WE ARE
WHAT WE CAN
WE ARE DOUBLE
EDGED
WE ARE WHAT
WE MAKE
ONLY BARELY LIKE
WE THINK

DOESN'T MATTER
HOW THE KNIFE MAY TURN ON US
WE'LL STILL HAVE HOPE
DOESN'T MATTER HOW
THE TIDE MAY TURN ON
US WE'LL STILL HAVE LOVE
DOESN'T MATTER
IF CITIES TOPPLE
WE'LL STILL HAVE HOPE
DOESN'T MATTER HOW
THE TIDE MAY TURN ON US
WE'LL STILL HAVE
HOPE DOESN'T MATTER
IF THE KNIFE MAY TURN
ON US WE'LL STILL
HAVE LOVE

ON THE RAILS
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
IN THE MOTIONS
IN THE LIMELIGHT

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Thursday, September 10th, 2009
9:46 am - Taking lessons to be myself
Not trying to be something that I am not. I am taking lessons to be myself. I could sing for hours and still not be sure if the voice in my skull is the one I should listen to or the voice bouncing off the walls. You become your life in the span of hours stretching across the gaps between one day to the next.

New apartment. New job. New lifestyle. Bikes everywhere, landing kickflips in concrete skateparks, tiny amplifier makes vintage noise.

Gathering up beautiful things to paw at.

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Monday, August 17th, 2009
6:18 pm
While waiting for your own thoughts to arrive you can listen to your feet carrying you pacing around the place.
Let your feet patter and your hands be active. If they call you a machine or a joke
you can always move on;
jettison that baggage you've collected.
You won't wind up on a remote island, but you can find your own isolation if that's what you're thinking you're needing.
The truth is that they're not always watching what you do,
but you are.



a wall of mirrors
clerical errors
high-pitched wailing
seems so good
seems so true
too good,
too true.

the waves are dangerous
the sharks are circling

I still hear the sound
even when I know it isn't there
I can feel the spin even if
I'm standing still

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Saturday, August 15th, 2009
1:47 pm - Whatever you are thinking, I'm not...
While you were planning to stay stuck in your past
long bony fingers point out the exit
clearly marked for departure.
I think you should have left
when you could have.
She's holding back an ice wave
a treacherous sharp-edged weapon.
I've seen it come crashing down before,
splashing all of us.

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Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
10:10 am
"Still the searcher
must ride the dark horse
racing along
in his fright"

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Monday, July 20th, 2009
12:56 pm - scribblxes
yah, man, things are weird! but not so weird. but, still, pretty weird.
if i saw you and i didn't know you, i'd think you were beautiful and i'd tell you that, and probably you'd think i was a total creep. i can't blame you, i might be.
6am. dry mouth. slept on the bus with my mouth open. girl next to me falls asleep with her head in a book, on a page with the heading "The Empire's Fall."
brad staba is on twitter. total fucking weird asshole. he was a pro skater. now he's a fashionista-lesbian. he. yes, he.
two giant amps in my room. i am going to play through a bunch of songs. someday (like tomorrow) i'll figure out how to use this loop program called mobius. so i can pretend i have a backing band since i can hardly maintain relationships with musicians. or something like that. probably not so self-deprecating.
it's hot. not as hot as you'd think.

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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
2:11 pm
all the times the sun did rise
all the times you said goodnight
is it not fine?
all the rivals that you felt
all the days of good health
is it not fine?
all the times the world wound up
all the times you said goodbye
is it not fine? do you like it?
all the rivals that you felt
all the days of bright blue sky
is it not fine? do you like it?
all the worry, all the doubt
push that aside
all the worry, all the doubt
just let it go
all the love that passed between
all the questions left to ask
is it not fine?
all the times the sun did rise
all the times you said goodnight
is it not fine? don't you like it?
all the worry, all the doubt
push that aside
all the worry, all the doubt
just let that go
time's the monkey on our backs
limits aren't limits,
they're wings

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Sunday, July 12th, 2009
1:38 am - How long will it last? (Or: what's up resource wars!)
These are estimated year values for the world's remaining natural resources, compiled by Armin Reller of the University of Augsburg and Tom Graedel from Yale.

The first digit is the estimated amount of time if total world consumption rates remain the same, the second digit is the estimated amount of time if total world consumption rates were half of what the United States alone consume.

Gold (36 to 45)
Antimony (13 to 30)
Aluminum (510 to 1027)
Zinc (34 to 46)
Uranium (19 to 59)
Tin (17 to 40)
Tantalum (20 to 116)
Silver (9 to 29)
Platinum (42 to 360)
Phosphorus (142 to 345)
Indium (4 to 13)
Nickel (57 to 90)
Lead (8 to 42)
Copper (38 to 61)
Chromium (40 to 143)

And, if there's new technology that emerges (described as "predicted") and if population grows, the numbers get smaller still.

Antimony (15 to 20)
Hafnium (~10)
Indium (5 to 10)
Platinum (15)
Silver (15 to 20)
Tantalum (20 to 30)
Uranium (30 to 40)
Zinc (20 to 30)

From New Scientist. Click to view their version (much prettier but not as easy to read, also describes what the elements are commonly used for).

This doesn't take into account things like massive improvements in resource management (via recycling) which could minimize the destructive use of elements. They also point out that a good (though not particularly stunning) percentage of most of the elements come from recycled sources already. Particularly shocking is that indium only has a few years left before it will become exceptionally scarce - it's common in LCD screens, which are ubiquitous. Do you think we could see violent conflict over our LCD screens?

All this makes me think: "how will this inevitable crunch in resources play on a geopolitical scale?" It could get very nasty, violent and territorial without a concerted effort from the world's leaders of politics and industry to preserve the pool of resources for future generations. Countries (i.e. Japan's stockpiles of tin in WW2) have cleverly manipulated the world's resources to their advantages before and certainly are now.

Bear in mind that the "long" numbers are a sort of pipe-dream scenario in which a drastic reduction of production occurs. I don't know where to put my anxiety over this issue!

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Saturday, July 11th, 2009
10:57 am - Monkey (lyrics)
This is a song about the strange feeling of leaving college and many friends behind

Are my senses right? Did I read the wrong signs? Was there something there, or was I hearing things?
I did not forsee it going down that road or ending up this way, I did not forsee it.
It's not like you were going to leave, it's not like I was going to stay, it's not like you were going to leave, it's not like I was going to stay.

I hope you find a better way to be yourself.
Don't let the bottle wrap you up and drag you off.
The truth shouldn't make you want to disappear.

I'll be the monkey on your back when you think you want to give up.
I'll be the hair on your neck, standing up when it feels too good.

A true friend only asks for your time, not your money.
One day you'll have to choose between the friends or the money.

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