Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
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3:05 pm
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thumbing their noses from their fortress, the thought arrived that if tables turn the walls will not be enough and their soft, fat, greedy hands will be no defense
they dream of pitchforks stabbing stomachs and fists, dead, dropping money from some height showering down in spiral shapes toward the fast approaching bottom
count all the fast ways to build up piles of cash piles so tall they don't bother printing them out instead they are digital and imagined nothing added, nothing subtracted, pixels steering the boat at this point and all of us looking on, helpless, confused little sheep-children led by fucked shepherds
everything is a crisis everything is decaying you can sit in your room and look out your window and wonder what sort of space it would take to really fill your head so that it could be still, no thoughts rattling like change in an empty tin.
there are events that are happening in the periphery which have dire consequences the light is off so you can't watch our captain is not speaking we are 36,000 feet thumbing our noses from our fortresses as the foundations sink into the mud
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Friday, October 23rd, 2009
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9:39 pm - techshop talk.
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for the last several weeks my schedule at the "dog palace" has been something like this
off Monday Groom from 8 until 130 Tuesday Groom from 8 until 2 Wednesday off Thursday work kennel from 12 until 8-ish Friday work kennel from 7am until 2-ish Saturday work kennel from 12 until 8-ish Sunday
an.way. that's preattyy intense dogwork there. the best part is the grooming since it's on commission and i get to tally up my money and usually end up making like $20/hr. if I'm witty. otherwise it's less. i bike to work no matter the weather. a guy who works there always asks if i need new pants when it rains. i get soaked, sunburned, whatever. i wish the commute were a little longer, to be honest.
the birds are squawking
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Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
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7:47 pm - skatejoy
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Thursday, October 8th, 2009
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10:42 am
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Rooms don't travel where I want to be. I need your presence to sleep by me. Where's you want to see? The kind of place that's a glimpse of purpose. No black numbers to define our price. Make something that we can relate to, stop shrinking away from responsibilities. It will have to stack on a shelf, not be sloshed around, half-drank, half-finished, a swirling world of potentials, possibility.
Soon I'll take an idea and fold it around within, Soon I'll fold this notion and set it free. Will it arrive full-form, with spine and lungs? It can breathe - It can walk - It goes on its own - Miraculous!
Don't get freaky, Don't go crazy, It's in your pocket. It's waiting in the glove box. Project out what's too real onto it.
Hold out times like good ones for the taking. Soon I'll have an idea and then Make it go wide screen
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Monday, September 28th, 2009
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12:00 am
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I plan on leaving my fingerprints to stay on a pane of glass unwashed
Preferably the glass is stained and I am but a small imprint on a larger design
But perhaps there is a time when I am the center on the Cross in the crosshairs right in the middle
Drop my fingers onto a tiny thing Leave my strange mark where ever I can't seem, where ever I can only do
Perhaps it is easier and I am outrunning my own self
Perhaps it is whatever and I keep waking up still like this
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Saturday, September 26th, 2009
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7:46 pm - Only thing that scares me is the dark
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Friday, September 25th, 2009
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3:23 pm - Too long since
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Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
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10:34 pm
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These things must come from nowhere I have seen them before They are arriving Just on time
Once it is here I am not sure it is Too late
Groceries Shoe laces Alarm clocks Normal things You know Nice things Every single day
A place to place Ordinary objects A space to call Ordinary space Trying to describe What it is to be a routine
Tacks hang objects safely Slats support the house The garbage is taken out Safety, this sweet safety
I have worked so hard for it
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Monday, September 21st, 2009
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12:28 pm
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chaos your warm image spun out in a red book Carl Jung hid in Switzerland. trying to explain fractals. it is totally random. it may repeat. it is totally random. it may repeat.
fooled by a trick turned on a suggestion hung out on paper, bound for higher-ups with reputations. delicate reputation spindly which sticks and breaks offering only tears.
it may repeat, it is totally random. wherever the strings may fall is how they fall. one direction glass-eyes counting sand crystals another direction narrow fingers grasping at grease bony ribs
coming to the surface in funny ways bubbling over sipping slowly
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9:26 am - Well-worn fears
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The Second Coming
Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand; The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi Troubles my sight; somewhere in the sands of the desert A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds. The darkness drops again; but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?
(always loved this.)
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Friday, September 18th, 2009
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6:02 pm
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green goggles vaseline on the lens superimposed once-off
a twang repeating long such awful sentences i'm ringing
rich and vibrant what might've been skin beds
nude nighttime gently gliding down feet touch earth moonlight on arched back
a pattern in the noise
the object furthest from earth
fragments and particles sticking making word math all the hard work done for you
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Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
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7:30 pm - ON THE RAILS
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LYRICS. accompanied by music.
WE MIGHT NOT BE OUT OF THE WOODS YET ALL IS NOT SO CLEAR AS IT SEEMS SOMETHING MUST GIVE SOMETHING MUST BREAK THE BOMB HAS TO GO OFF BEFORE WE CAN EVEN STOP TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO DIFFUSE IT
WE COULD DROWN IN OUR WEAPONS WE COULD DROWN IN OUR WEAPONS WE COULD HIDE OUR WORST FEARS BUT SOMETHING MUST GIVE SOMETHING MUST BREAK THE BOMB HAS TO GO OFF BEFORE WE CAN EVEN START TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO DIFFUSE IT
WE ARE WHAT WE CAN WE ARE DOUBLE EDGED WE ARE WHAT WE MAKE ONLY BARELY LIKE WE THINK
DOESN'T MATTER HOW THE KNIFE MAY TURN ON US WE'LL STILL HAVE HOPE DOESN'T MATTER HOW THE TIDE MAY TURN ON US WE'LL STILL HAVE LOVE DOESN'T MATTER IF CITIES TOPPLE WE'LL STILL HAVE HOPE DOESN'T MATTER HOW THE TIDE MAY TURN ON US WE'LL STILL HAVE HOPE DOESN'T MATTER IF THE KNIFE MAY TURN ON US WE'LL STILL HAVE LOVE
ON THE RAILS ON THE BRIGHT SIDE IN THE MOTIONS IN THE LIMELIGHT
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Thursday, September 10th, 2009
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9:46 am - Taking lessons to be myself
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Not trying to be something that I am not. I am taking lessons to be myself. I could sing for hours and still not be sure if the voice in my skull is the one I should listen to or the voice bouncing off the walls. You become your life in the span of hours stretching across the gaps between one day to the next.
New apartment. New job. New lifestyle. Bikes everywhere, landing kickflips in concrete skateparks, tiny amplifier makes vintage noise.
Gathering up beautiful things to paw at.
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Monday, August 17th, 2009
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6:18 pm
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While waiting for your own thoughts to arrive you can listen to your feet carrying you pacing around the place. Let your feet patter and your hands be active. If they call you a machine or a joke you can always move on; jettison that baggage you've collected. You won't wind up on a remote island, but you can find your own isolation if that's what you're thinking you're needing. The truth is that they're not always watching what you do, but you are.
a wall of mirrors clerical errors high-pitched wailing seems so good seems so true too good, too true.
the waves are dangerous the sharks are circling
I still hear the sound even when I know it isn't there I can feel the spin even if I'm standing still
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Saturday, August 15th, 2009
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1:47 pm - Whatever you are thinking, I'm not...
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While you were planning to stay stuck in your past long bony fingers point out the exit clearly marked for departure. I think you should have left when you could have. She's holding back an ice wave a treacherous sharp-edged weapon. I've seen it come crashing down before, splashing all of us.
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Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
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10:10 am
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"Still the searcher must ride the dark horse racing along in his fright"
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Monday, July 20th, 2009
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12:56 pm - scribblxes
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yah, man, things are weird! but not so weird. but, still, pretty weird. if i saw you and i didn't know you, i'd think you were beautiful and i'd tell you that, and probably you'd think i was a total creep. i can't blame you, i might be. 6am. dry mouth. slept on the bus with my mouth open. girl next to me falls asleep with her head in a book, on a page with the heading "The Empire's Fall." brad staba is on twitter. total fucking weird asshole. he was a pro skater. now he's a fashionista-lesbian. he. yes, he. two giant amps in my room. i am going to play through a bunch of songs. someday (like tomorrow) i'll figure out how to use this loop program called mobius. so i can pretend i have a backing band since i can hardly maintain relationships with musicians. or something like that. probably not so self-deprecating. it's hot. not as hot as you'd think.
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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
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2:11 pm
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all the times the sun did rise all the times you said goodnight is it not fine? all the rivals that you felt all the days of good health is it not fine? all the times the world wound up all the times you said goodbye is it not fine? do you like it? all the rivals that you felt all the days of bright blue sky is it not fine? do you like it? all the worry, all the doubt push that aside all the worry, all the doubt just let it go all the love that passed between all the questions left to ask is it not fine? all the times the sun did rise all the times you said goodnight is it not fine? don't you like it? all the worry, all the doubt push that aside all the worry, all the doubt just let that go time's the monkey on our backs limits aren't limits, they're wings
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Sunday, July 12th, 2009
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1:38 am - How long will it last? (Or: what's up resource wars!)
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These are estimated year values for the world's remaining natural resources, compiled by Armin Reller of the University of Augsburg and Tom Graedel from Yale.
The first digit is the estimated amount of time if total world consumption rates remain the same, the second digit is the estimated amount of time if total world consumption rates were half of what the United States alone consume.
Gold (36 to 45) Antimony (13 to 30) Aluminum (510 to 1027) Zinc (34 to 46) Uranium (19 to 59) Tin (17 to 40) Tantalum (20 to 116) Silver (9 to 29) Platinum (42 to 360) Phosphorus (142 to 345) Indium (4 to 13) Nickel (57 to 90) Lead (8 to 42) Copper (38 to 61) Chromium (40 to 143)
And, if there's new technology that emerges (described as "predicted") and if population grows, the numbers get smaller still.
Antimony (15 to 20) Hafnium (~10) Indium (5 to 10) Platinum (15) Silver (15 to 20) Tantalum (20 to 30) Uranium (30 to 40) Zinc (20 to 30)
From New Scientist. Click to view their version (much prettier but not as easy to read, also describes what the elements are commonly used for).
This doesn't take into account things like massive improvements in resource management (via recycling) which could minimize the destructive use of elements. They also point out that a good (though not particularly stunning) percentage of most of the elements come from recycled sources already. Particularly shocking is that indium only has a few years left before it will become exceptionally scarce - it's common in LCD screens, which are ubiquitous. Do you think we could see violent conflict over our LCD screens?
All this makes me think: "how will this inevitable crunch in resources play on a geopolitical scale?" It could get very nasty, violent and territorial without a concerted effort from the world's leaders of politics and industry to preserve the pool of resources for future generations. Countries (i.e. Japan's stockpiles of tin in WW2) have cleverly manipulated the world's resources to their advantages before and certainly are now.
Bear in mind that the "long" numbers are a sort of pipe-dream scenario in which a drastic reduction of production occurs. I don't know where to put my anxiety over this issue!
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Saturday, July 11th, 2009
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10:57 am - Monkey (lyrics)
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This is a song about the strange feeling of leaving college and many friends behind
Are my senses right? Did I read the wrong signs? Was there something there, or was I hearing things? I did not forsee it going down that road or ending up this way, I did not forsee it. It's not like you were going to leave, it's not like I was going to stay, it's not like you were going to leave, it's not like I was going to stay.
I hope you find a better way to be yourself. Don't let the bottle wrap you up and drag you off. The truth shouldn't make you want to disappear.
I'll be the monkey on your back when you think you want to give up. I'll be the hair on your neck, standing up when it feels too good.
A true friend only asks for your time, not your money. One day you'll have to choose between the friends or the money.
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